Archive for June, 2009

I recently lost PSP. Yes, PSP: my Playstation Portable. We had some great times together, but in the end we had to depart. It’s better this way, right? Yeah, I thought so. All good things come to an end, don’t they? 

Say, are you interested in our story? I figured you were. Now, take a seat and let me tell you about my love/hate relationship with PSP.

It’s early 2006. I had just quit my job at the local supermarket due to exams and I was sitting on quite a lot of money. Well, considering I was 16 at the time, it felt like a lot of money. Anyways, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with the money. No, I did now want an Xbox 360. No, I did not want a new cellphone. The thing I wanted – no, lets call it a she – had beautiful graphics, could play all my music and would play all my movies. She went under the name of Playstation Portable. But I prefered to call her PSP.

PSP was a real lady. She was unlike anything else I had seen before. Yes, I had met DS. But she had her flaws. DS was bulky whereas PSP was slender. DS looked cute whereas PSP looked pretty damn sexy. DS also had this weird dillema with her micophone. It seemed like all the games back when the DS launched had to use it. This annoyed me and really hurt our relationship. Oh! Looking back I should’ve given you more love! She had two screens, a touchscreen and was more fun to play around with. Yes, I realize that last sentence sounds really awkward.

But PSP! My love… When I bought you, you immediately disappointed me. Yes, for no reason whatsoever your lovely skin had to crack, forcing me to return you to the cold and lonely store. We had to depart, understand it love. You would soon get replaced by another model. No, it’s not your fault. She looks identical to you! If I didn’t know any better you two could’ve been twins! Sorry, my dear…

Your replacement did not disappoint. We had fun together for a while! We listened to music, we watched movies, we even browsed the internet together. It didn’t matter you had to be charged every four hours! The time we spent together felt like an eternity! Alas, my love. You failed to please at one single, but crucial point; you sucked at playing games.

When I bought you, I didn’t think clearly. I didn’t think about your awful deformed child; the UMD. Yes, your child never matured. It was slow at everything, it was prone to sratches and basically required all your energy. I understand it’s not your fault, love. UMD was like a parasite. It’s too bad we couldn’t ditch it.

I tried, honestly I tried. It just didn’t work out. Please don’t take this personally, but your father, Sony, refused to change. He didn’t want you to stop using UMD’s. Instead he kept claiming the format was alive and well. We were made for each other, PSP. But UMD… Argh!!

It was a rainy day. You refused to play Metal Gear Solid and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I put you back into your box and left you there on the street. I felt awful, honestly I didn’t want to leave you… Sony found you though.

Enter PSP GO. Sony’s answer. I dont know what he did to you love, but he slaughtered you. Sure, UMD was gone, but why did you look so alien? It’s all your father’s fault, don’t blame yourself. I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who still love you. As for me… I’m going back to DS. Yes, I should’ve never left her… 

Rest in peace, PSP…